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Deathsweep 2008
By 
admin | December 10, 2007
If you don’t know what Deathsweep 2008 is, go here for an explanation. For those that do, use this post to add nominations, suggested manner of death, join in, slag each other off or whatever you want, then sit back, cross your fingers, and wait to see who gets lucky!
Update: Apparently you can add comments to permanent pages; it just requires some .php faffing. Oh deat, it’s going to be a long night…
Topics: Deathsweep 2008 |
December 11th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
My 5 all count. I want that known to everyone.
December 11th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
And it’ll be 4 quid pints of Peroni you’ll all be buying me.
December 11th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Or a 20 quid pint of Peroni for Stitchy in Norway. Just buy it and attach it in an email Mr Coyle. Email beer. Braw.
December 12th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Ok. Let’s do this shit.
1. Norman Wisdom. (dies as a direct result of replicating that “trip over your own legs” thing that he always does, but this time, he ends up crushing his fifth vertebrae down some concrete steps.)
2. Elizabeth Taylor. (dies as a result of the Joker’s “Smilex” plan actually being put into operation.)
3. Ronnie Biggs. (funny if he dies on a train, but more likely in D-Wing.)
4. Warren Buffet. (this sub-prime mortgages thing isn’t getting any easier.)
5. Clint Eastwood. (as the doctor goes to try and shock him to bring the Clint back to life, he’s bound to say “Do you feel lucky punk?”
There. Pick those steelies out motherfuckers.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Ok my list after careful deliberation:
1- Ariel Sharon
2- Dramatic Chipmunk
3- Chinese River Dolphin (noone limited it to famous humans! They’re potentially going extinct)
4- Richard Hammond - bound to happen, how many accidents does he have? Last week’s episode was just a taster.
5- Janice Dickenson - that last botox/collagen/lipo injection was the proverbial straw that broke the ageing supermodel’s face.
How about dem apples, biznitches?
December 12th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Gonna have to deny two of them. No way animals can make it in, no matter how famous or close to extinction. Lifespans are just too short. Ya big cheat. Everyone would change theirs to moths and things.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
No animals wasn’t in the original agreement! Just because no one else thought of it and you weren’t smart enough to block the loophole doesn’t mean you can discount me. I call bullshit on your laziness and lack of attention to detail to deny animals in the first place!
December 12th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
Given the competition was previously only open to men no-one would have been so gay as to include animals, especially ones like Chinese River Dolphins. They sound like a Barbie accessory for chrissakes. Nor are they famous.
The rules are whatever I decide to make them. You want to have your own animal deathsweep, go ahead! Although I might start an extinction one before you get there…
December 12th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Total bullshit ricardo! You’re being such a LAME-O! FINE! As this is your game and because you’re too lazy to avoid deathtraps such as the above I’ll concede this once. Lemme get back to you on that - but as a record Janice and Ariel Sharon and Hammond are mine biznitches!
December 12th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
1- Ariel Sharon
2- Richard Hammond
3- Janice Dickenson (that bitch is crazy)
4- Tony Bennet
5- Neil Diamond
This is all kinds of wrong - yet so right.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Neil Diamond will never die.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
He will too. Once day, his corset will just snap violently and lead to a horrific, corset-related death somehow (heart attack by loud pop? Snaps so hard it hits him in the chest, breaking a rib, and puncturing a lung? Who knows?).
December 12th, 2007 at 6:40 pm
Norman Wisdom is a shrewd choice.
December 13th, 2007 at 9:27 am
Good thing no one got Ike Turner.
December 13th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Who the fuck appointed you Deathsweep 2008 rule maker?!
December 13th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
No one. I AM THE LAW!
I think it goes without saying generic animal can’t be included. I was going to allow dramatic chipmunk, but discounted it on the fact that we have no way of knowing if it’s still alive or not. And the fact that it’s actually a Prarie Dog.
However, if Kerry can prove dramatic chipmunk/prarie dog is both still alive and that trustworthy news sources would report its death, I’ll let it in. Barbie River Dolphins can swing though.
December 22nd, 2007 at 10:59 am
Going to Hell in zero zero eight.
1. Ian Paisley - I would just like him dead. Maybe he doesn’t count as he is not human.
2. Charlie Watts.
3. Dusty Rhodes - he is “semi-retired” which in pro-wrestling parlance means he needs to do some work to cover the massive medical costs he has incurred from a lifetime of steroid abuse.
4. Michael Jackson - I don’t think we’re getting the full story there.
5. David Gest - Lorraine is going for Minelli and I reckon if they both peg it this years yous all have to double up.
December 22nd, 2007 at 11:10 am
Ok my guesses are as follows:
1. Gary Kasparov - there may be some rogue radiation issues here too….
2. Robert Mugabe - fingers crossed
3. Liza Minnelli - she ain’t looking too clever at the minute
4. Jackie Charlton - maybe once the whole 1966 team is dead they will stop talking about it!
5. Anne Charleston (Madge (Ramsay) Bishop) - an outside bet but hey, Helen Daniels was her friend and she died….
December 30th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
My first picks were declared invalid and, worst of all, ungentlemanly. So, after much procrastinating here are my final five: -
1. Tomoji Tanabe
2. Edna Parker
3. Jack Klugman
4. Albert Hofmann
5. Paul Newman
******my first two are the oldest man & woman alive so MUST be considered celebrities. If they die it’ll be on the news, surely that confirms their celebrity status??? If anyone still has a problem with this then tough. Talk to the hand as the puss isney interested.
toodles!
January 8th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Ok, so Lizzy Taylor has been snaffled. Okay. I’m going to go for Bilawal Bhutto. He’s only 19 and I know this isn’t a day for sound bites, but I feel the dead hand of history on his shoulder.
January 8th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
I reckon you thought of the gag before the nominee there Lyons! Still, it stands.
As for Klugman, not bad, not bad…
Will get an definitive New Year update going shortly folks.