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How to write a letter to The Herald

By User ImageNiall_Rags_Mackenzie | April 30, 2008

Being an argumentative pedant with too much time on my hands, I frequently write letters to my favourite corner of the Fourth Estate, the Glasgow Herald. Here is a quick guide on how you too can achieve the same thing.

1. Begin letter agreeing with previous correspondents argument
2. Next, point out an insignificant flaw basing this on an archaic, obscure fact
2. Assert their ignorance by re-iterating the same fact from a different source.
4. Finish correspondence with a smug flourish.

Example:

Whilst Jeff Hogglesworth thinks he is right, and I briefly entertained his arguments, what he fails to notice is that in fact only I, Niall G Mackenzie, am ever really right. This is because I am cleverer than him, as this obscure fact demonstrates.

Ner ner, ner ner ner,

N. Mackenzie

Easy!

Topics: Guffaws |

2 Responses to “How to write a letter to The Herald”

  1. no imagefuckwit (Check me out!) Says:
    May 13th, 2008 at 11:59 am

    i agree with your point mr bateman but you have failed to point out the glaringly obvious: N. Mackenzie sounds like more than one person in the office!

    yours,
    f. uckwit

  2. no imagepartickbateman (Check me out!) Says:
    May 15th, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    Hehe, it could well be! Actually refers to my pal Niall, who constantly writes letters to the Herald then boasts about it.

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